NDP Leader Jack Layton’s Massage Parlor Adventure

Hot news is breaking about Jack Layton, leader of Canada’s New Democratic Party and the man that wants to be Prime Minister. According to an extensive report by Sun Media, Jack Layton was caught in an alleged Chinatown rub ‘n tug massage parlor back in 1996.

The policeman and his partner allegedly found Jack Layton in a room lying naked on his back, with a hot and tasty 5’10” Asian woman in her mid-20’s in the room with him.

According to the police officer’s notebook obtained by Sun Media, this was the second time police visited the “massage parlor” that was currently ID’ed as a “bawdy house” and the purpose of the visit was to look for underage Asian hookers. When asked by officers at the time why he was naked, Jack Layton – the “suspected john” – gave no answer, but denied knowing that sex acts were being done there when asked. The woman in the room “denied masturbating the suspected john” when first asked, but when asked again, she became nervous and said:

“I don’t know. I only come to work today.”
– mid-20’s hot 5’10” Asian Woman

As I am sure you would agree, the attractive Asian chick’s cloudy memory at the time is very understandable. How is some poor woman to know for certain whether or not she just pulled on some guy’s sausage?

It’s All One Big Mistake … A SMEAR(!) Campaign

Thankfully, this entire fiasco is nothing more than a simple misunderstanding that’s being turned into a huge smear campaign against Jack Layton by the evil Sun Media. Although Jack is not denying the events took place nor the content of the police officer’s notebook, he does specifically deny having any knowledge that “the therapists’s location may have been used for illicit purposes” and claims that he only went there to get a massage from a massage therapist.

“It’s unfortunate to see the smear campaign starting in these last few days of the campaign. Absolutely nothing wrong was done, there’s no wrongdoing here, but the smears start.”
– Jack Layton, Leader of the NDP

Just to be perfectly clear …

Even though Jack Layton of the NDP was caught in a “massage parlor” that was allegedly known to police as being a bawdy house, in a part of Chinatown that’s known by police and locals to be rife with rub ‘n tugs, lying naked in a room with a tall sexy Asian woman that couldn’t remember whether or not she pulled on his penis a few times when asked more than once, Jack Layton had absolutely no idea what was going on there, he did absolutely nothing wrong, and he was not charged by police.

Of course, this whole incident leads me to one and only one strictly personal opinion …

Jack Layton, the man that wants to be Prime Minister of Canada, is either completely full of shit or he’s one of the biggest dumbasses to ever walk the planet.

Tasty Jack Layton Massage Story Links