2011 Oscars Ruined by Epic Naughtiness

EGADS! For those that missed last night’s Academy Awards or haven’t heard the news, the evening of glitz and glam was turned into a cesspool of naughty trash. A three hour event was destroyed by one simple word during Melissa Leo’s acceptance speech for her Best Supporting Actress win during the first 1/2 hour.

That’s right. She dropped … the “F” bomb, saying: “When I watched Kate (Winslet) two years ago it looked so fucking easy.”

It could have been a delightful and memorable event that people would speak of throughout the ages. Parents would be telling their children for years to come about the 2011 Oscars if it wasn’t for Leo’s potty mouth and disdain for all that is good.

I know, I know. You’re thinking I’m overreacting. But if you doubt me, just read Bill Harris’ latest column in the Toronto Sun:

Regardless, if the F-bomb was meant to be disarmingly funny, it didn’t work. All it did was march the Academy Awards directly into the gutter.

The F-bomb was just so off-putting and low-class. It’s a lesson for everyone about unnecessary and inappropriate profanity.

The vast majority of people are not offended by the F-word any more. But seriously, did anybody pay attention to anything after that?

Uh … yeah.

The thing I’ve always loved about some of the columnists featured in the Toronto Sun and other daily newspapers across Canada is their seemingly oblivious view of reality. Many act like they’re prim and proper and have such high standards. They wouldn’t stoop to using profanity because it’s crass and uncouth. Hell, they’re literary masters.

Just ask them.

If the highbrow hoity-toity segment of the world – like Bill – simply can’t concentrate and pay attention to an additional 2 1/2 hours worth of boredom after hearing the “F” word, I think it’s time for a reality check.

How do I put this delicately?

Fuck it. Let’s go blunt.

Bill et al, you write for a newspaper that generates a portion of its revenue from sex and the sale of pussy. Some people buy the newspaper just to see the Sunshine girl. Will she be arching her ass and sticking her boobs out today with that “come fuck me” look? Will the editor whip up an innuendo filled description of the girl?

Let’s just buy a copy and see!

Every day there’s a page or more of paid classified ads for phone sex lines and hookers – whoops, I mean escorts. Hot, busty, mature, discreet, open minded women offering incall and outcall services. Throughout the day, the ads placed by these women and their agencies – or pimps – will facilitate certain transactions that will allow them to purchase additional advertisements in Bill’s fine paper.

Just so there’s no confusion, by “transactions” I mean sex. By sex, I mean some of those ladies – and men – will be spending some quality time on their knees today with a schlong buried in their throat. They will be paid for services rendered, they will then purchase more ads, and a portion of the columnist’s salary will come from the proceeds.

If Bill is so mortified over hearing the “F” word, how on earth does he get his job done knowing that Jill, an “A1 busty mature blonde (that) will travel to your hotel / home,” is just a phone call away?

Billy, if you ever read this, please, don’t pretend your tubby little fingers are turning out masterpieces for some frou-frou literary journal. You’re an entertainment columnist that’s featured one page turn after ads for hookers, escort directories like TheRedZone.com, and HARDLINEchat.com from MASCUligne.

You’re Perez Hilton … without the fan base.

So … think Jill is a good lay?

  • >>”I’m shocked at how little you know about how a newspaper functions.”

    I know how newspapers function. I also know you should look at yourself and judge your own environment before getting prissy with what goes on elsewhere.

    >>” I suppose an American newspaper doesn’t have such adds? … [drivel drivel drivel] … I also wonder why you are so upset with Bill’s statement and so obviously insulted by the more cultured society of Canada? ”

    I’m shocked that someone who claims to work in the news industry automatically assumes I’m American.