Q&A: The Rapture IS Coming!

I gets mail!

Welcome to the first official installment of Ask LD. Some folks seem to like sending anonymous questions and comments, so what the hell … I’ll answer some of them. If you’ve got some dumbass questions of your own but don’t want to post, see the bottom of the note here for details. And now …

Dear LD,

I’ve been following your page for awhile now and read that you were an atheist, which leads me to my question. With all the wars, famine, disease and disasters around the world, what do you think the meaning behind it all is? If the end of days and the rapture are not coming soon, real soon, then what does it all mean? How can you not believe in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ?

Confused Christian

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Dear Confused,

Thanks for your question. All actions and events have meaning, but the meaning is rarely all that deep. More often than not, the most simplistic answer is the correct answer. For example …

Remember that time when you and the missus were doing the deed and she kept screaming out your best friend’s name? Remember when she told you it didn’t mean anything? It did. It probably means she’s been doing a little pole vaulting with your pal. See? Simple.

As for your question about what all the wars, disasters, disease, etc. could mean …

After some long and serious discussion with the world’s finest minds and leading historians, we have come to a solid answer.

The Internet does an amazing job of delivering delicious porn and all the world’s doom and gloom in a timely and efficient manner. Whether it’s some celeb bare-cooching it around town, or a flood anywhere in the world, it’s all just a tweet away. Doom and gloom has been around since the beginning of time. The Internet … not so much. See? Simple.

Your Pal …

LD

P.s. You didn’t just ask 1 question, you asked 3 … dumbass.