PSA: For White People

Blacks, Indians, Pakistani’s, Koreans, Mexicans, Chinese and all other non-white people, kindly avert your eyes. There is nothing for you to see in this note.

[pausing … pausing … pausing … pausing]

OK. It’s just us white folk now? Good, because we need to have a little chat. It seems that some who walk amongst us are having a little difficulty assimilating into the outside world once they step foot outside of Whiteyville.

Oh yeah, you know what I’m talking about … Republican Senator Jake Knotts and his comments this past week about Obama and Nikki Haley.

A Quick Recap …

Knotts was on an Internet Radio talk show called Pub Politics when he decided to take a few jabs at Nikki, a Republican woman of Indian and Sikh descent that’s running for governor in South Carolina, and this is part of what he had to say:

We already got one raghead in the White House. We don’t need a raghead in the Governor’s mansion. — Jake Knotts, Republican South Carolina Senator

Aside from that statement, he made numerous other references to Haley being a “raghead” including: “She’s a fucking raghead.” Not to worry though, according to the FreeTimes he later clarified his statement … he didn’t mean to use the word fucking. Phew. Mind you, he allegedly also claimed that she’s a Manchurian candidate launched by a “network of Sikhs” to take over the governorship, but that’s a matter for another day.

Needless to say, the shit hit the proverbial fan, the media latched on like a vicious dog, and being the understanding sort he is, Knotts offered up the following apology:

My ‘raghead’ comments about Obama and Haley were intended in jest … bear in mind that this is a freewheeling, anything-goes Internet radio show that is broadcast from a pub. It’s like local political version of Saturday Night Live, which is actually where the joke came from. Since my intended humorous context was lost in translation, I apologize.

Brings a tear to your eyes, don’t it?

I know a lot of reporters have been hunting through the SNL archives looking for the “raghead” joke to no avail, but let’s just pretend it exists – like unicorns. It seems that the problem here is that some folk just don’t understand the finer points of context and humor. So let’s break down some of the unwritten rules before the you-know-who’s come back:

  1. An Internet radio show about politics is not the same as Saturday Night Live.
  2. When in the midst of slamming someone, that’s generally not the appropriate context for racial slurs … even if you’re in a funny place.
  3. Anyone that could potentially be referred to as a “raghead” is unlikely to appreciate said reference. They’re finicky that way.
  4. Sometimes specific words are irrelevant, it’s the sentiment that counts. For example … “We don’t need a raghead in the Governor’s mansion.” is no better or worse than “We don’t need one of those people in the Governor’s mansion.” I know, I know, it’s confusing. Just trust me. And after all of that, if you’re still confused …
  5. When in doubt, remember the name … Michael Richards. If Kramer can’t pull off dropping an N-bomb in the middle of his act at a COMEDY CLUB, the odds of your fat white ass pulling off a “raghead” reference on a talk show … not that promising.

If you have any questions, leave them under the 4th box on the 3rd shelf of the cracker aisle and we’ll get back to you pronto!

Sorry, gotta run. They will be back any second and I just looked out my window and saw some guy in a turban talking to a black guy. God only knows what shenanigans they’re up to, but I’ll let you know as soon as I find out.